Pray for Me

Day I

I feel like Isaac
led, unknowing, to the slaughter
happily content to carry the wood
until realization ties my hands and feet
and sets me upon the altar.

"Only for a while"
is what she said.
I am stunned.
I am calm, emotionless
(on the outside)
beneath my unmoving facade,
I tremble
and cry
and scream
and hide.

Soon, I don't know how,
I am walking,
the cool grass brushing my feet,
dew still cold
(or are those my tears?)

I am Sorrow

but I am proud.
I am bitter,
but I am supportive.
I am confused,
but all is clear.





And I am alone.





Nowhere, no one,
to run to.
Not even her,
not anymore.

But it is the right thing.
My heart says no.

The warriors of legend:
Mind and Heart,
gladiators in the tumultuous arena
underneath my soundproof exterior.

Suck it up
__Just let it go
Hold on. Stand up.
__Cower, run, scream.
She needs your support, don't give up now.
__"...for a while."?!
You can handle this
__but you never thought this would happen

(Please God, give me strength)

And so I sit in silence.



Day II

Nowhere, no one,
to run to.
Not even her,
not anymore.

Run to me.
He calls,
but I'd rather sulk alone.

Run to me.
My tears ignore His voice.

Hands wipe away the salty moistness.
Her hands? No.
Softer, smoother.

Warmer.

Run to me.



Day III

Run to me.
And so I did.
You said Follow.
And so I listened.
I listened and was lead,
to where I'm not sure.

I'm still not sure,
but yet I still follow.
Follow and pray.
Follow and pray.

Listen.
I strain my ears
but barely hear a whisper.

Listen.
I'm trying!
I really am...





...but still nothing.





Listen.
And I understand,
if only a little.
Submission is dangerous for my ego.
It may yet be a long process.
Follow and pray.
Follow and pray.